Stop Worrying, Everything is Balanced & Perfect in the Universe
“Everything is perfect in the universe — even your desire to improve it.” Wayne Dyer
Attachment is undesirable and how to achieve detachment, free will vs everything is destined, we are formless souls with a body not the body (form) with a soul. Usually, these kinds of matters we read in Indian religious books and scriptures like Bhagavat Gita, Yogavasistha, Tattavartha Sutra, Ashtavakra Gita, Upanishads, Atma Bodh, etc.
The book today I am referring to was bought by me in the year 2002 on the recommendation of a fellow senior professional. I started to read the book but after the initial few pages, it remained unread. My misplaced priority didn’t stop the pages of the book from getting worn out after a few years.
Twice I had placed the book in the pile of old books to be discarded not because I had read it but due to worn out quality of its pages. Both times I took it back as I thought I must read it. This month it was the third time that happened and it was the last. I took it back from the old newspaper drawer and started to read the book. It was quite an astonishing experience. The high-quality thoughts it contains are worth reading, again and again, every few years.
It seems the author of the book is highly influenced and convinced about the Indian philosophy contained in Upanishads, Bhagavat Gita, etc scriptures. The book is written by an American author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, in which he has referred to Bhagavat Gita, Yogananda Paramhansa (Prominent Indian Yoga Guru), J. Krishnamurthy (Welllnown Indian philosopher) to name a few. The book talks of the subject mentioned above quite eloquently.
The book starts with the following excerpts in the initial pages.
“You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.”
According to Hindu and Jain philosophy, this is the reality but ignored and forgotten when we experience daily life. Assuming the body as a self is our ingrained belief and gross ignorance, yet we live and die with this massive ignorance. Most of us don’t care to know the difference. Therefore, coming from the western author, it caught my attention.
The whole book is worth reading. Here in this post, I will mainly touch upon the chapter on Detachment.
He writes in the most materialistic society in the history of humans we have very high levels of loneliness and despair. He says detachment is the answer to this problem. The ability to be detached from all things and people and yet still see yourself as a part of the whole of humanity is one of the greatest paradoxes of the spiritual journey.
Detachment is the absence of a need to hold on to anyone or anything. Detachment is one of life’s great lessons for those on the path of enlightenment.
About our attachment with spouse and close family members he has sane advice. He writes; I finally realized that other people are going to be exactly the way they are, independent of my opinion about them. This allows me simply to be in my relationship towards all others.
No judgment, no anger, no hostility simply to be. (Would this approach solve many of your family issues and enhance close relationships?)
Detachment is a big factor in eliminating suffering and in nurturing a sense of inner peace. Having things in life is wonderful but needing them is attachment. If you are suffering in your life right now, I can guarantee you that it is tied up with some kind of attachment to how things should be going. (Pause & Check)
The perturbances are caused by our attachment to an idea that somehow, someway, things should be different than they are.
He narrates the 7 most common types of attachments that we need to work on to become detached and happy.
We identify ourselves and our relative degree of success and failure is dependent on the quality and quantity of stuff that we accumulate… the thesis I am lacking value without stuff leads to an endless pursuit of more…. It takes the human gaze away from the eyes and hearts of those that you encounter, to their wallets and material possessions……And when you are controlled by things external to yourself you are a slave of these externals, making suffering the only available course for you.
We call it Parigraha which means the concept of possessiveness and greed. It also refers to the desire for and attachment to material things. Aparigraha is the opposite of Parigraha. How to Improve the Quality of Life With Aparigraha?
This is one of the stickiest attachments, and it will create a great deal of suffering until you learn to overcome it in your life… In family relationships, it means being detached enough to allow your relatives to be what they choose to be, and feeling secure enough within yourself not to judge yourself based on what others decide to do in their lives.
Detachment in human relationships does not mean an absence of caring. It means caring so much that you suspend your own value judgments about others.
Learning to be detached from the past and the traditions that are an important part of many people’s lives is one way to eliminate some of the sufferings that exist in the world today. Attachment to the history of your form as representative of your ancestors and relatives will only cause untold amounts of suffering.
Learning to be detached from the traditions often takes a great deal of courage….Anything to which you are attached owns you in a fundamental way. It is tantamount to tightening the chains and shackles each day to make certain that you do not have a mind of your own.
It is an attachment to the packaging that contains you, and it disguises you the knowledge that your body is a temporary form that you are occupying, (This is a profound reality). .. The more you are attached to the body and how it appears, the less your chances of being able to stand in the back of your form and see the divineness that is truly you.
Attachment to your body is like having an attachment to suffering and being unwilling to let it go.
Handpicked related post: Do you know the 1st Step on the Moksha Path?
This is one of the most difficult attachments to discard. Being right could be considered a terminal Western disease (I think Indians too).
The attachments to being right creates suffering because it is almost always a useless device for communicating with other people… For every idea that you absolutely know is right, there are millions of people who believe that you are wrong.
To be detached you must know that right versus wrong dichotomies is the invention of people. The universe simply is the way it is, running on the principles that we have defined but still running independently of our opinion about it.
An internal awareness that an opposite point of view can be held simultaneously with your own, and no need to make others wrong.
The Jainism principle of Anekantavada is applicable appropriately here.
Handpicked related post: World Leaders Need to Practice Anekantavada for Global Peace
To be detached from money means to shift your focus to doing what you love and what you feel purposeful, and to let the money arrive in your life without being consumed by it.
Detachment means awareness that you are not your bank account. If you feel that you must have money in order to feel happy and successful, then you are attached to it.
Handpicked related post: How Much of Your Valuable Life You Want to Use for Earning Money?
When we are attached to winning, it becomes an obsession, and we suffer when we do not emerge as the winner. A great test of character is how we react when we lose.
Attachment to winning makes many many human beings feel like losers. Maintaining that attachment means feeling like a loser a large part of our lives since no one can always win… Suffering results when we feel like losers.
Permit yourself just to be, enjoying fully what you are doing in harmony with body and spirit, and your detachment will lead you di the highest levels you have ever reached.
(Immediate benefits of detachment) Detachment will give you a sense of peace about what you hear and see. You will discover the simple yet elusive truth that the world is working exactly as it is supposed to. Your attachment to how you think it is supposed to be working only makes you a victim.
In the chapter on Synchronicity, he writes,” Everything happens for a purpose and the puzzle of life fit together perfectly….. There are no accidents of any kind. (In Jainism this is known as Krambaddha Paryay i.e. Sequential Unfolding of the Future of Everyone/ Everything). It makes no sense to worry about those things over which you believe you have no control. There is nothing to worry about. It is all handled for you already. So just flow with it, rather than fighting for anything.
This is one of the finest books I have ever read. The book is not comparable with the great Indian scriptures mentioned above. However, the following similarity with the central theme of the Indian scriptures makes the content of this book vital, relevant, and worth reading.
“You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.”
Originally published at http://wethecouple.com on February 27, 2020.
